"There are monkeys, of course, because this is India, and monkeys are ubiquitous, but if you’ve ever been on safari in Africa you know that once the guide starts talking about primates and wildfowl it means that all the good stuff has gone home for the day"
What we talk about when we talk about Anthony Bourdain
"Another glance in the mirror: those are pecs, those are abs, those are Brad-Pitt-in-Fight-Club cum gutters. Nice!"
"I’m so London that a century ago my great-granny was heaving her juddering Edwardian breasts over the ebonies and ivories of the Old Vic’s Vaudevillian Joanna as she recited myths, legends and stories about a capital in the midst of war"
"We were ready to eat again 10 minutes later, so noshed a batch of custard filled dumplings in the shape of the green aliens from Toy Story"
"I’ve only had one bad meal in Hong Kong, and that’s the one at the top of this article"
"Words such as 'willing suspension of disbelief' and 'you’ve got to be kidding' spring to mind but no, I’m wrong. The New York sale has been and gone with a successful bid of nearly US$135,000"
"I have long straight hair and my mother decreed I looked better with curls: so I slept in rollers, sharpened barbs in their cylinders for traction"
"Heavy industry departed a long time ago, and most Glaswegians regard it as a commuter rat run en route to somewhere more interesting. A tad unfair TBH"