"It is clear much more thought has gone into how it looks than how it eats"
"A Star Trek-style sliding door reveals a hallway, at the end of which is a lightless lift. I enter and wait to ascend (or descend, it's not clear which), then a ceiling light blasts on and music begins... "
"These small pleasures have arrived: brightly coloured novelty shapes for millennials"
"It’s 8PM on a Friday night at Hakkasan Mayfair and a urinal is leaking piss"
"Then bread arrives. Outlandish and spectacular bread. In shapes and colours I don't recognise …"
"One recurrent comment has been: 'Truffle and fontina pizza for £29!? WTF!??'"
"When I go to the toilet, I happen upon a waitress spraying copious amounts of stain remover upon the man whose chinos she has spilled food all down"
"I had my last honeymoon here at The Savoy. We had to get the dealer out at 3am …"
"But when a friend who knows about these things asked me if I’d been to the sizzling hotspot, I had to consult a map. 4th Street north east?? Dear God. Where’s that?"