"Only in Italy would a mariachi version of “Hotel California” be considered apposite aural accompaniment for a sunlounger'
"The Whitby Hotel has as much in common with faded English seaside grandeur as I have with Melania’s husband"
"This is a hotel that started to date the second the heavy plastic wrapping was taken off all of its expensive CONTEMPORARY furniture"
"To my left was a table full of three young Americans, high on precociousness. One was wearing a shirt with a fleece – or was it a fleece with a shirt? – and the sort of shoes you only ever see abandoned"
"I was almost tempted to ask the waiter to chew the meat for me at one point, but was told the next day by the food and beverage manager that the duck was meant to be hard and rubbery"
"This is the kind of landscape that restores the soul. Briefly, the tawdry business of the Presidential election seems irrelevant to notions of America at its core"
"Travellers ahead of the curve and alert to Instagram opportunities prefer the secret and unfamiliar. But I have rediscovered the Dordogne, and love it"
"I only noticed the blood when I went to hand her the tip. She was more concerned with my finger and (being American) I was more concerned with giving her the tip"
"What a delightful sight I thought, even the animals get the royal treatment here. Except… the trail of crumbs led down to the hidden place where our champagne was coming from"
"The suites are jaw dropping, with dressing rooms, a private treatment room, a private gym, a conservatory (my favourite) and a SURVEILLANCE room. Perfect for the paranoid UHNW traveller, or the tech-savvy voyeur"