"I could try to forget some of the not-so-great memories of a trip to remember, including, but by no means limited to, having my left nipple aggressively tweaked by a masseuse miffed at my rejecting her offer of a “mass-ah” on a street corner in Siem Reap and 12 hours of explosive diarrhoea on the island of Koh Lanta"
"A pianist. At breakfast. Playing the love theme to Tootsie"
"Capri had no pants. Bermuda had no shorts. Fez had one red velvet tasselled hat …"
"Affordable luxury is, as far as we’re concerned, an oxymoron, unless you’re talking about free time. Which is, of course, a luxury and, by its very nature, free"
Stephen Unwin gives Bailiffscourt the once over for one of his wonderful sort-of-hotel-reviews
Picasso was here, Matisse, Chagall. It was the hot spot for a postwar jet set. Good food, a sunny terrace and art heists – welcome to La Colombe d’Or
"Only in Italy would a mariachi version of “Hotel California” be considered apposite aural accompaniment for a sunlounger'
"The Whitby Hotel has as much in common with faded English seaside grandeur as I have with Melania’s husband"
"This is a hotel that started to date the second the heavy plastic wrapping was taken off all of its expensive CONTEMPORARY furniture"