"I’ve read this stereotypical, clichéd pile of horseshit about India in every UK national newspaper, Sunday supplement and monthly glossy"
"On this occasion I felt nothing but intense loathing for the fifty-year-old women in sequined tops, swinging their bingo wings in my face, and the teenage girls stroking freshly straightened hair and reapplying No.17 lip gloss"
"The sea thrashed and trees braced themselves against the wind, their backs bent by gusts that rocked the car. My sun hat sat dormant on my lap"
"It is a jolly down-to-earth place with no airs and graces, plenty of hen parties who will mistake your boyfriend for a stripper and scream if he pokes his head into the wrong room, and staff who will bend the rules to keep you happy"
"The night could only have been worse had someone thrown themselves out of a window, and at that point the most likely candidate was me"
"The Shard’s revolving doors are constantly turning with Yorkshire hen parties, blazer-wearing couples and Spanish tourists"
"You 'Mmm' loudly in the hope that no one else can hear the sound of your heart breaking, and slice the pasta into shards praying there are Super Noodles in the cupboard for later"
Siu mai obsessive Monisha Rajesh on the best dim sum in London
"It felt like driving through a Cézanne painting: all terracotta roofs and patches of violet in the distance"