"Once you’ve got your key for your room, you take the lift upstairs and realise quickly that this is a hotel that could compete with The Overlook for scale and bewildering hallways"
"This is a restaurant where tradition is (forgive me) baked in"
"Sunbeams stream through and warm the soft palette room, casting a spotlight over my guanciale, highlighting the adipose goodness"
"It’s not a knackering drive (you can take a helicopter), has many seductive historical details like fancy romantic-novel chandeliers, wooden balustrade gargoyles with boobs, aphrodisiac Valrhona Tulakalum dark chocolate fondant, what more could impress someone you like?"
"'But can you find me a table at the Pokémon Café?' I blurt, staggering fresh from the red eye and up through the sleek black elevators into an atrium reception"
“I come to LA every month in my boss’s private jet to take her dog to the salon. She’s a porn billionaire.”
"Apparently, it is also a place for a wake. This is a good thing. If you are born, then you must die"
"We’re drawn to it like Britt Ekland to the wallpaper in The Wicker Man. Tonight one of us will sing Hey-Ho and roll our breasts against the walls of our De Mountford suite"