Where is everybody? | The Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel

Up until just over a year ago you couldn’t get more quintessentially Hollywood than The Polo Lounge in The Beverly Hills Hotel. Deals were brokered over frozen margaritas and classic martinis. All the big agents used it as a second office. The Oscar parties started there and were always the best. At any given moment there would be a handful of A-listers having lunch, all of them foregoing the fantastic blue cheese bread in favour of the menu’s lighter items.

I remember once I interviewed a British actress, whose first name is Kate, who ordered a tortilla soup without the tortilla. Perfectly normal.

My personal memories of the place are numerous. Jackie Collins used to go every week and have the McCarthy Salad. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and I talked bras at lunchtime, drank wine and ate our way through the whole breadbasket.

My very first trip there was for an Oscar party. Matt Damon had won for Good Will Hunting, and he asked me to hold his then girlfriend’s hair as she threw up in the ever so spacious, luxury tiled bathroom.

I remember the time when my friend Nigel and I were celebrating something and decided to drink the entire cocktail menu, one glass after the other. I think we stopped at M. After the margarita came a mudslide, essentially an alcoholic chocolate milkshake. We had fun though.

This time last year I was offered a free weekend there. Why? Because the place had emptied. It had gone from being one of the chicest places on the planet to untouchable. One by one all the industries that supported it – film, fashion et al – withdrew their patronage because its owner, Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, implemented sharia law penal code in Brunei, including death by stoning and the severing of limbs for crimes such as abortion, adultery and homosexual acts. Hollywood, of course, wouldn’t be Hollywood without abortions, adultery and homosexual acts.

It was like stepping onto the Titanic after the band had left

My friends were divided about my invitation for a free stay. The straight ones said: “Don’t go, you’re supporting an oppressive regime.” The gay ones countered with: “The poor waiters aren’t getting any tips, go.” In the end, for various logistical reasons, I stayed in the Grace Kelly suite in Hotel Bel-Air, part of the same forbidden Dorchester Collection. Same level of service, same sharia controversy.

Back in the UK the Corinthia Hotel was hosting all the junkets the Dorchester used to, and a huge boycott was attracting all sorts of press. I noted a deluge of Tweets by Richard Branson, who just happened to be launching a hotel group.

It became a hotly debated topic; by not going, what did our protest mean? And if we went there, would it be seen that we were supporting the cruel punishments? A year later I went to The Polo Lounge to see what it was like.

Marlene Dietrich at The Polo Lounge

It was like stepping onto the Titanic after the band had left. It was a Thursday night and fairly empty, although not totally. Everything was still the same: the beautiful garden, the bougainvillea, the coral-coloured paintwork, the wide flat palm tree; everything that had been so cherished by the glitterati, but now not so shiny.

The bread arrived and it was a moment of nostalgia – here was the same breadbasket I’d loved so much just over a year ago. It was still gorgeous bread. The margarita was still light and powerful, the way that used to be a metaphor for how things worked in Hollywood.

On this visit we were introduced to a new vegan menu. So many people in California have gone vegan, including Ellen DeGeneres who used to be a stalwart of the hotel. The thing is, nobody went to The Polo Lounge for the food. They went for the atmosphere. They went to see A-listers or, if you were an A-lister, to see your peers. It was a place to seek kinship, to feel at home, and to receive unparalleled service. Our waiter told us that despite tonight’s lack of bustle things were picking up in the restaurant, although corporate bookings were still low. His attention to detail was epic. It was as if he could read my mind.

He also knew what I had been thinking and spoke out in support of his employer. He told me that when tips were down the company raised all the wages to cover for it. He also told me how he had stayed in the other hotels of the group all over Europe as an all-in bonus. Everybody who works there is entitled to three nights at any hotel in the collection.

He, Naomi Campbell and myself do have another thing in common

After another cocktail he told us how the Dorchester Collection was ahead of its time in terms of equality for its staff. Years before civil partnership or gay marriage the company gave employed same sex couples equal rights on insurance benefits, and any other benefits that anywhere else in the States would require married status. He spoke with fierce loyalty. I was impressed. I had an ultra delicious pea soup followed by a vegetable coconut curry. My friend had the West Hollywood Salad – vibrant, fresh, ripe and also delicious.

The conundrum of who to support deepened. The fact is, this hotel group is run by a man who supports stoning people to death for falling in love and having sex. And yet it supports same sex couples rights as employees. And the Sultan is so rich that a year of boycott would have affected him less than a sneeze.

Do I feel sad that the glamour of The Polo Lounge is tarnished and the damage to the brand is so evident? Yes. Russell Crowe has spoken out against the boycott, saying it is unfair to punish the employees. I agree. I am not sure how I feel about being on the same side as Russell Crowe although he, Naomi Campbell and myself do have another thing in common. We like to throw phones.

Another margarita only helped cloud my judgment. I could not decide if I should have the chocolate or peanut soufflé. The waiter brought me a soufflé that was half chocolate and half peanut. It was so fluffy, so creamy and delicious.

After my dinner at The Polo Lounge a friend said that I deserved to be stoned to death because my margarita drinking and soufflé eating supported a barbaric regime. That was hard to swallow. There are some things worth fighting for and battles that you can probably win. I’m not sure abstaining from soufflé is the way.

Will I go back? It’s hard to say. I’d definitely go back to be pampered by the lovely waiter. But the reason that most people went to The Polo Lounge was to see and be seen. And that reason is gone. C

The Beverly Hills Hotel, 9641 Sunset Boulevard, Beverly Hills, CA 90210 USA
(310) 276 2251; beverlyhillshotel.com