Review: SLS, Las Vegas

Burning Man is a hot, horny humdinger of an arts and music festival that takes place every August, in 100-degree heat, in a dust bowl in the middle of the Nevada desert. Considering that you have to equip yourself, prior to the event, with everything you might need to survive the uncompromising conditions for a week (food, water, luxury RV), the cost of attendance can run into the thousands of dollars – the cost, essentially, of a pretty lavish vacation in any number of salubrious resort locations.

This was a dichotomy I found myself pondering numerous times over my week in Nevada – as I braved yet another dust storm, for instance, or awoke to yet another drum ’n’ bass/EDM soundclash, or sat lamenting the fact that the “grey water” tank in our RV had filled up in only four days.

Witness my one trip to Glastonbury, when I stayed in a local B&B where the owners served us chilled Chablis before we headed into the fray each day

I’m not the happiest camper at the best of times (witness my one trip to Glastonbury, when I stayed in a local B&B where the owners served us chilled Chablis before we headed into the fray each day), so in retrospect it quite confounds me how I thought I would survive – let alone enjoy – the Burning Man experience. Which isn’t to say I didn’t have an “awesome” time – just that the “awe” was more of the Biblical, “shock and” variety. In fact, you can read more about it here.

All of which meant that I was already predisposed to give a glowing review to the new SLS hotel in Las Vegas, which threw open its glitzy, white-lacquered doors the same night we innocents were driving into the Burn, visions of a week of Ibiza-style hedonism dancing before our eyes. Which is to say that I while loved every minute of our stay, it’s also possible that my perspective may have been a little skewed.

Seeing as we’d be delivering our RV back to Sin City after the event, and predicting (not inaccurately) that we’d welcome a couple of days of no-holds-barred luxury by then, we’d booked in for two nights to ease our transition back into the “default” world. And boy, a pristine, week-old, Starck-designed ivory tower never looked more inviting. As far as first impressions go, too, kudos to the door staff, who didn’t blink an eyelid at the sight of our Burn-encrusted RV and Burn-encrusted selves rolling onto their pink neon illuminated driveway.

This is the third SLS property, after Beverly Hills and South Beach, and all the pink and white, the walk-through lobby lit by the sparkling promise of a pool at the other end, the series of Fred Segal boutiques, and the distinctive absence of phalanx upon phalanx of slot machines on entry all help create an immediate effect that’s less Vegas, more Miami Beach.

Located behind the Wynn at the dingier end of Sunset Strip, a block away from where it all becomes “kwik cash” credit centres and discount liquor stores, the 1720-room property also falls into the “boutique” category by Vegas standards. The rooms are sized for a party for two, not ten. And after a week of partying with 70,000 dreadlocked ravers, this was pretty much fine with us.

We weren’t so down with the lack of room service menu. You can order up from any of the five on-site “casual dining” restaurants (there are three fancier options too) via the TV, but we quickly found that none of these five offers a decent eggs-n-pancakes breakfast option. Bummer.

It’s probably because they want you to hit the breakfast buffet instead – Vegas loves a good buffet – or go in for one of the gateau-sized (I exaggerate not, like not even a tiny bit) pancake stacks at the Griddle Café. Worth mentioning here that said pancake stacks are mainly infused with Oreo cookies and shots of rum. Party on! But for the record, they also do a great egg white omelette, even if you do feel like a nun for ordering something so virtuous off-menu.

Worth mentioning here that said pancake stacks are mainly infused with Oreo cookies and shots of rum. Party on!

On the subject of food, we opted to dine at upscale sushi joint Katsuya on our first night. The only pescetarian in my Burning Man camp, I’d been forced to forsake all animal protein in the desert due to our self-elected chef’s insistence that bringing any fish onto the Playa was a recipe for a stench to rival a Medieval sewerage system (not that meat scraps get stinky when they start to decay in the heat, or anything…). So the prospect of a full-on sashimi fest had me almost literally salivating.

Dish after dish of umami-drenched deliciousness did not disappoint, and we left fully sated on the Omega-3 front – even if the canteen-style tables didn’t exactly do justice to the Nobu-level price point. There’s a better “fine dining” experience to be had next door at Cleo, a Mediterranean joint that does some of the crispiest, greasiest and most moreish roasted Brussels sprouts known to mouth. No wonder they sold something like 30,000lb of the beauties at the Beverly Hills outpost last year.

This being Vegas there is a casino, of course, but it all felt relatively subdued and more like it’s there for show. The big rollers probably have their favourite tables at the established casinos anyway. And on a Monday night (despite it being the Labor Day weekend), both the hotel’s nightclubs were closed, so entertainment on site was capped at lounging by the pool, and a couple of seriously decadent spa treatments.

Anybody looking for a glossy, relatively low-key Vegas experience, will find the SLS hard to fault. If the behemoth scale of the properties that traditionally dominate the Strip can be disorientating, the SLS provides a welcome, boutique feeling alternative. There were times at Burning Man – as we traversed the temporary lawless pleasuredome of a metropolis at night, the stars in the desert sky drowned out by what felt like a million LEDs – when it felt like this was the real Sin City. Who knew that two days in Las Vegas could prove the fast track back to sanity? C

SLS Las Vegas, 2535 South Las Vegas Boulevard, Las Vegas, Nevada 89108, USA
+1 702 737 2111; slshotels.com

 
Ruby Warrington is the founder of Thenuminous.net