The pool at The Residence
On the third day of our stay at The Residence, I began to wonder “Just how relaxed is too relaxed?” As we had our own private pool, the fifty-metre stretch between our beachfront villa and the clear turquoise waters of the Indian Ocean seemed like a bit of a schlep to me. Did I really want to trek across hot white sands when I could simply slip into the warm waters of our infinity pool and watch the sunset, cocktail in hand?
Although I profess to detest the dolce far niente of beach holidays, after a few days at The Residence, I had embraced a level of almost embarrassing slothfulness. The staff at the luxurious Zanzibar resort certainly wouldn’t tell you that they encourage faineance, but they’re so damned efficient that it really is impossible to feel motivated to exert oneself.
With the resort’s expansive buffets and crisp pressed uniforms, it’s easy to forget that life expectancy in Zanzibar is just 42
In a secluded spot on the south-western coast of the spice island of Zanzibar, the tropical resort is an ode to doing absolutely nothing in five-star style. A maze of bustling passageways, noisy street markets and post-colonial palaces, echoes of the island’s historic past abound in the capital, Stone Town. The Residence couldn’t be more different. A member of the Leading Hotels of the World, the modern development of luxury villas and glossily tiled lobbies is designed for the Western traveller who wants to get away from it all without the unwelcome intrusions of backpackers beach-partying or touts selling counterfeit RayBans.
An hour’s drive from Stone Town, the resort is comprised of 66 bungalows spread across 80 acres of manicured, elegant gardens, bright with exotic blooms and lush foliage. Two restaurants, a glass-walled main pool and a spa proffering Carita treatments are among the facilities, but you could easily spend your entire stay within the privacy of your villa. And the American fifty-somethings, moneyed Muscovites and loved-up honeymooners we came across on our stay seemed reluctant to venture too far from the seclusion of their suites.
Transported to our villa by one of The Residence’s unfailingly cheerful golf buggy drivers, we were greeted with platters of fresh pineapple and papaya, miniature sweetmeats and That View. An endless stretch of white beach, clear aquamarine water and palm trees swaying in the afternoon breeze, it’s the clichéd “Wish you were here” screensaver that you’d expect to find on the computer of poor old Kevin in IT services. Villa interiors are a classic reinterpretation of traditional Zanzibari design, with carved wooden furnishings. sheer white cotton drapes, and sliding glass doors opening onto a private sundeck. And each villa has its own butler to cater to your every whim. It’s a hard life.
Once you’ve managed to tear yourself away from the ocean vistas, first stop has to be the Pavilion Spa; a tranquil space where Carita-trained therapists and the hotel’s own Ohashiatsu practitioner are on hand to beautify and to ensure that you reach a state of zen-like relaxation. The Residence is actually the only hotel in the world to offer Ohashiatsu; a type of full body massage designed to energise and de-stress via slow stretching. My diagnosis post-treatment? I was amused to learn that I need to understand how to relax. I’d like to think that I succeeded in that endeavour by the end of my stay.
Complimentary yoga classes are also available, and for the more active, snorkelling and all manner of energetic watersports. On the entertainment front, we had performances from Masai warriors and local musicians to accompany evening meals, which typically include a variety of themed dinners (Asian, Italian, Lebanese) and a refined a la carte menu of international cuisine.
With the resort’s expansive buffets and crisp pressed uniforms, it’s easy to forget that life expectancy in Zanzibar is just 42, and one-third of the population survives on less than one dollar a day. The well-rehearsed routines and eager-to-please efforts of the staff can make The Residence seem cloyingly perfect, but complaints on that basis seem a little disingenuous – that’s what we Westerners pay top dollar for, isn’t it? And arguably, working in tourism gives islanders a chance to provide for their family, improve their English and escape the dollar-a-day poverty trap.
Watching the sun sinking over the horizon, capturing yet another Kodak moment for your Facebook friends and sipping a chilled cocktail, it really is hard to think of anything other than First World problems. Now, about that swim…
The Residence Zanzibar, Mchamgamle, Kizimkazi, PO Box 2404 Zanzibar, Tanzania
+255 245 555 000; theresidence.com
Alice Revel is the founder and editor-in-chief of Running in Heels