"When you see a bottle marked Cap Classique, buy it… Drink it alone - you know I often do - or with people. Drink it crying, laughing or feeling totally numb"
“…even if you think you know that Barolo smells of roses and tar, or Chablis tastes like it has trickled through ancient oyster beds, great bottles always have an originality that begs the question: how can this be made just from grapes?”
"Apparently, it is also a place for a wake. This is a good thing. If you are born, then you must die"
"That was back when you called everything champagne. That was wrong, as we know now that 'it’s only quarantine if it’s from the quarantine region of France. Otherwise, it’s just sparkling isolation'."
"I once threw a loaded flute over my shoulder in disgust because the champagne in it was terrible"
"We’re drawn to it like Britt Ekland to the wallpaper in The Wicker Man. Tonight one of us will sing Hey-Ho and roll our breasts against the walls of our De Mountford suite"
"Hand-harvested, bottled at the vineyard, I was waiting for her to tell me no grapes had been harmed'
"After a billion years of studying philosophy, I know that jargon is useful only when needed and boring when not'
"Karens are hypocrites, rude toward those beneath her class (that’s economic not educational class), posts nauseating motivational sayings on Facebook, tries to sell pyramid products to her friends and, to tick all Karen boxes, doesn’t believe in science"