"A pianist. At breakfast. Playing the love theme to Tootsie"
"One recurrent comment has been: 'Truffle and fontina pizza for £29!? WTF!??'"
"The décor at Ballyfin is not for all tastes, but your mother will probably love it. Unless your mother is Rei Kawakubo"
"Only in Italy would a mariachi version of “Hotel California” be considered apposite aural accompaniment for a sunlounger'
"Finnair customers at Heathrow are sent to the No.1 Lounge, which is where passengers who don’t have lounge privileges go to pay £40 for all the bacon rolls they can eat, and feel like they’re living the dream"
"This is a hotel that started to date the second the heavy plastic wrapping was taken off all of its expensive CONTEMPORARY furniture"
"I went to Gordon Ramsay’s house to photograph his dog for Tatler once. Even he couldn’t quite believe it was happening"
"Growing up in the archetypal Irish family home in the 1970s, I despised most food that wasn’t from our favourite fish and chip shop"
"If the food is from 2016, and the décor is from the 1990s, the service is dialled in from the 1970s"